today feels like fall, and that feels ok

Since I came back from an eight-day meditation retreat 10 days ago, I have struggled to articulate the experience to each person who has asked about it. To say that something was transforming or life-changing feels cliché, even if it’s true. In reality, there are many moments where I have hardly felt transformed at all. But I know that every experience we have, whether its as monumental seeming as a retreat or as simple as an interaction with a stranger, weaves itself into the person we are today. We may not be able to put words to this process or even see it all. Perhaps we even do ourselves a disservice by trying to assign meaning to the subtle symbiosis of experience and self. But lately, even though my relationship to writing has felt complicated, I find myself coming back to words. Though they only offer a glimpse of the experience, they still hold something true for me.

Labor Day Retreat August 25 – September 2, 2013

Seeing that it’s summer.

Recognizing that that’s ok.

Seeing that you are on a sidewalk.

Seeing cracks in the sidewalk.

Stepping around the cracks.

Paving a new sidewalk.

Realizing that you don’t have to walk on a sidewalk.

Experiencing some space from the person who used to walk on the sidewalk.

Realizing that you can walk either on or off the sidewalk.

Realizing that you won’t always remember this.

Recognizing that that’s ok.

Seeing that it’s fall.

Recognizing that that’s ok.